Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), the star player of the Toronto Maple Leafs, is suffering from stress because his wife, Prudence Roanoke (Meagan Good), has left him for Jacques "Le Coq" Grandé (Justin Timberlake), whose nickname is apparently a nod to being exceedingly well-endowed. The stress causes his hand to shake, which affects his hockey performance. Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) enlists the support of Guru Maurice Pitka (Mike Myers) to help Darren with his stress so that the team can hopefully break their losing streak. In addition to getting a considerable payment, Pitka would be invited to Oprah Winfrey's show, which he hopes would help him become the #1 guru, a place currently held by Deepak Chopra. By the time Pitka succeeds, he no longer feels the need to become #1, as his main priority has become his love for Bullard. However, in connection with a vow Guru Tugginmypudha gave him a chastity belt. He returns to him to have it removed. Tugginmypudha agrees that it can be removed now, and explains how to do that, but to Pitka's surprise no key is needed.
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